With May upon us as “Mental Health Awareness Month,” and with Taylor Swift taking over the world with her ever popular “The Eras Tour,” corresponding film and her new double album The Tortured Poets Department, I paid $19.89 for the streaming version of The Eras Tour in order to listen to the lyrics of that set list and make connections to the important mental health and awareness issues facing us today.
Look what she made me do.
“Miss Americana & the Heartbreak Prince.” This song repeats the lyrics “It’s you and me, that’s my whole world. They whisper in the hallway she’s a bad, bad girl.” If only the hallways were just the physical hallways from back in the day that one could run away from. In today’s day and age, the hallway is everywhere – there is nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. The hallways of Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Snapchat, WhatsApp, YouTube and others are always on 24/7 with literally billions of users. A 2023 article in the 19thnews.org entitled “The complicated ties between teenage girls and social media – and what parents should know” by Jennifer Gerson cites to Surgeon General Vivek Murthy’s advisory on the effects that social media usage can have on teen mental health, specifically calling attention to the way it can perpetuate body dissatisfaction, disordered eating behaviors and social comparison in adolescent girls. In a December, 2022 report, the Pew Research Center indicated that nearly half of U.S. teens have been bullied or harassed online with “offensive name-calling,” “spreading of false rumors,” or “receiving explicit images they didn’t ask for” as the most commonly reported.
“The Man.” The Man takes us into today’s workplace dynamics and issues that many women still have to contend with. “They’d say I hustled, put in the work, they wouldn’t shake their heads and question how much of this I deserve. What I was wearing, if I was rude, could all be separated from my good ideas and power moves?” A March 5, 2023 Michigan State University study by graduate research fellow Caitlin Briggs and her colleagues asked 128 volunteers to imagine they’d been appointed to a committee charged with allocating bonus funds to deserving employees. The volunteers then went into a meeting with one of two actors: a man or a woman. In all scenarios, the man or woman actor questioned whether the volunteer understood the nature of the task and proceeded to mansplain it to them. Video footage showed that after being spoken to condescendingly by a man, women spoke fewer words. Men, on the other hand, were unaffected. Let’s now go and watch the viral video of the mansplaining to professional golfer Georgia Ball and move on to another song.
“We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.” “We are never, ever, ever getting back together. You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me. But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together. Like, ever.” A January 8, 2024 article in the Forbes Advisor by Christy Bieber, J.D. and Adam Ramirez, J.D. revealed divorce statistics in 2024. The famous saying is that half of all marriages end in divorce – which is true – but that statistic only applies to first marriages. The article points out that second and third marriages actually fail at a far higher rate. Lest you think all is doom and gloom – the article points out that the divorce rate has actually decreased from a rate of 4.0 to 2.5 since the year 2000. However, the article shows that Taylor was right all along since only 6% of divorced couples remarry each other (Like, ever.).
“Shake it Off.” Time to change the beat. How do we support our mental health and cope with the issues that we are dealing with. Cause, after all, “the players gonna play, play, play, play, play. And the haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate. Baby, I’m just gonna shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, I shake it off, I shake it off.” The Mental Health America website (www.mhanational.org) lists “31 Tips to Boost Your Mental Health.” Here are some of my favorites as listed in that article. 1. Track gratitude and achievement with a journal. Include 3 things you were grateful for and 3 things you were able to accomplish each day. Good tip – do we stop to smell the roses and really see what we are grateful for and for what we are doing and accomplishing? 2. Start your day with a cup of coffee. Coffee consumption is linked to lower rates of depression. Yes, please – coffee soothes the grumpy lawyer. 13. Take time to laugh. Hang out with a funny friend, watch a comedy or check out cute videos online. Laughter helps reduce anxiety. 18. Has something been bothering you? Let it all out … on paper. Writing about upsetting experiences can reduce symptoms of depression. One of the reasons I decided to write this was a sense of feeling helpless, thinking of a way to bring these issues to the forefront and make myself feel better that I am trying to “do something to help.” 19. Spend some time with a furry friend. Time with animals lowers the stress hormone – cortisol, and boosts oxytocin – which simulates feelings of happiness. These are all great – but I think number 13 may be my favorite.
“All Too Well (10-Minute Version).” “It was rare, I was there, I remember it all too well.” I think we all have something or someone in our lives that haunts us. We think about it frequently – possibly on a daily basis or even more. Where can we turn to for help? The “T” word – no not Taylor. Therapy. Self magazine published an October 5, 2021 article “13 Tips for Getting the Absolute Most Out of Therapy” by Emilia Benton. A lot of good tips here I will focus on just a few of the tips as they are numbered in the article. 1. Do your research to find a therapist that best suits your needs. This is good advice as we are all different, come from different backgrounds and needs, and are at different stages in life. Psychology Today has a “Find a Therapist” platform where providers can list information about themselves and the type of therapy they specialize in. You can also check out BetterHelp’s online therapy resources at www.betterhelp.com. 7. Be sure you’re well-equipped for teletherapy. We all live in a Zoom world now, and I still can’t figure out how to put my hand down once raised. For therapy to be effective, you need to be in a peaceful and private location where a friend, co-worker, spouse or four-legged friend cannot interrupt. This will allow you to have the freedom and focus to discuss what is on your mind and really dig in. 12. Practice self-care in between sessions. There is a lot of time and space between therapy sessions and the sessions can be emotionally draining. Be mindful of work and life commitments around scheduling of therapy sessions and give yourself time to recoup, recover and focus on your personal growth and well-being. Reward yourself with things that you enjoy and make time for rest and recovery.
I will leave it here with no encore as I do not want to be a tortured poet …….
“Fortnight.” Surprise track from The Tortured Poets Department. “I was supposed to be sent away. But they forgot to come and get me. I was a functioning alcoholic. ‘Til nobody noticed my new aesthetic. All of this to say I hope you’re okay.” I hope you’re okay, but if you are struggling with substance abuse and need help please reach out to one of the following resources that are there and ready to offer immediate help and support. Dial 211 in Connecticut for 24/7 substance abuse resources and treatment offered through the Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services. Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers (www.lclct.org) offers confidential and protected services available to all attorneys, judges and law students in the State of Connecticut whether or not the individual is a member of the Connecticut Bar Association. Alcoholics Anonymous (www.aa.org) is a global peer-led mutual aid program dedicated to abstinence-based recovery from alcoholism through its twelve-step program.
John J. Louizos is Chairman of the Fairfield County Bar Association Wellness Committee and a Partner with Wofsey Rosen in Stamford, CT where he focuses his law practice on commercial law, business law and real estate. He is a secret “Swiftie” and serves as an assistant coach with the King School Varsity Ice Hockey program.